I would be 17 weeks and 2 days pregnant right now, and sometimes, sadly, I still find myself crying. It happens for various reasons. I'll see a photo of someone's kid on Facebook and I'll cry. A Mom will walk past our house pushing her baby in a stroller, and I'll cry. I'll look into the… Continue reading Don’t cry in your wine
Just about 8 weeks have passed since my miscarriage and I'm back where I started. I'm a non-Mom again. I like my wine, I love my dogs, and I have a closet full of baby things --see my last post for reference. Some will say that because our baby was never born, I was never a… Continue reading Welcome back to the non-Mom club
I'm a hands on learner. I learn the best by doing. When I found out I was pregnant on Feb. 10th, I panicked. I wasn't expecting to be pregnant, and couldn't see myself as a Mother. Having a raspberry sized shrimp looking human inside of me, wasn't enough of a physical change to make me feel… Continue reading Realities of loss
So my Dr. prescribed me Zoloft for a few months. I went on base today to pick up the prescription at the pharmacy and had a unique experience, so I figured I would share. At the counter I gave the guy the last four, and showed him my military ID, and quickly explained that I… Continue reading The Pharmacy
Well, I seem to be progressing through all the stages of grief. I've now reached the point where I just feel thankful that I had those few short weeks with Baby B. What if I hadn't even realized I was pregnant? What if Baby B hadn't even made it to 8 weeks? Truth is, I… Continue reading Thankful for the time
I feel like people are afraid to talk to me or engage socially with me since the miscarriage. Now I've become the person that you see and instead of saying hello like you used to, you hope I didn't see you so you don't have to say anything about what happened. Because it's so much… Continue reading Disappointment
As I felt our baby leaving me, leaving us, I wanted to pause time. I wanted it to wait. Just hold on a minute. Don't leave. We don't even know who you are! Are you a girl or a boy? Who do you look like the most? Why are you going away? What have we… Continue reading Wait, who are you?
Week 5 I found out that I was pregnant mid-morning on Friday, February 10th 2017. My husband was flying that day, and so I decided to wait and give him the news in person instead of by text message. I waited patiently all day long, unable to focus on anything else, until nearly 6pm. By… Continue reading My pregnancy & miscarriage story